New Year: Life's still rolling

I must admit that Mr. Waangdo made my eyes wet on the first day of the year, that too for 3 hours straight,i cannot say in wat way it is appealing to others but to me it was a re-run of 30 yrs of my life!!!
And a week later i was able to thank God for the opportunity rather than ask Him for success!!! Trust me, it was the first time in the entire life when i felt bold enough to say prayers normally and not shed tears!!!

Goa trip on christmas was good..... thats all i can say about it !!

Things are bright as well as grey, difficult to decide which light to c things in !!

A Short, Sweet and free Trip!!

It was just one night at stay at di's place but it was none the less quite refreshing. I got to meet my niece and the infant nephew who is just a fornite old and holding him in arms was no doubt a scary thought until di actually put him in my arms and my eyes and throat betrayed me!! I just remembered a friend's advise to always sit on a bed and then hold such an infant for safety but I was standing and was scared a bit!! Raghav was quitely sleeping and the moment he came in my arms he popped open his eyes and I made some silly sound to pacify him, well he gave me the sweetest and naughtiest smile I have ever seen in my life. Twice he smiled or may be I imagined it as a smile when it wa more of anything else. That was a moment of euphoria and like falling in love with God's beauty which is abundant around us only waiting for us. I had to gather the strength of steel to leave Raghav and a wailing Myra for office just return to mumbai in th evening even without dropping in one last time!!!! Its a whole bag of mixed emotions, and they stir up just too much sometimes,speculations about my own future family,responsibilities combined with joys of family. I have nutured so many tons of dreams since i stepped into boy hood about a family life that living all of them in just "one" single life seems impossible!!

The Ides of May-decideth for All

"Day of Decisions -for Life"
Months of country wide political and family wide domestic dillema finally took face on 16th May!!
One of the largest democracies stepped forward and joined hands to take a unanimous decision for their own future which is a refreshing change in my coutrymate's philosophy!!! my own life took a giant leap and i crossed the threshold of maturity entering the phase of man-hood from boy-hood!!At the end of the day rejoices & colors marked the sunset with a loud promise of a happy sunrise!! All went to bed with content in their heart thanking all for the best alliance!! Let us all pray to God to give us the courage and wisdom to stand up to our vows which we solemnly take today for a brighter & happier tomorrow!!! Jai Ho!!

The fragrance of Heena & Turmeric!!

I made the worst appearence on the most important interview of my life!!but my own philosophy about looks was endorsed by sumone else too which was a pleasent surprise and changed our lives for ever!!!! i had butterflies in my stomach and they became dinosaurs when i got to know dat i was up for the interview right after office which left me no time for preparations or make-up!! I wore clothes which I just intended to dump in the laundry bag since it was a "TGIF" mood!! I dunno y I had shaved dat day. But chalo simplicity worked!! i bought that shirt in dun to appear for my campus,but even then i had not got a chance to prepare n wear it n in a jiffy i was swept away by honeywell.This time I wore this shirt by chance n the trouser was also old one from dun days!!!Though the whole office forced me to go home change n then meet "them" but I decided to be natural n spontaneous rather than do a marathon!! my colleagues sprinkled all funny stuff on me n i had to borrow a comb!!! to b exact i was sweaty smelly, full of dust n tired too. but"wohi hota hai jo manzure khuda hota hai"!!so it clicked!!nd i returned home with a broad grin to share the sweets n news with my friends.it was difficult to shut eyes dat nite n i ended up sleepless till morning!! nd then i had a lunch to catch, i was wondering now my eyes will b red n swollen, so those were my 2 worst appearences on 2 most important days but it was all so well managed dat i was comfortable through out!! Its like God answered all my unasked queries in a smooth shot.I m stil keeping my fingers crossed afraid to wake up in the morning n think about every thing, i still savour the dream n want to live it all my life.

bread or butter?

My return journey to Mumbai was quite comfortable and uneventful but there was a surprising incident. I ordered a dinner plate from which i only ate some dal-rice, i went in search of someone to whom i cud give the rest of it, as i cudnt imagine throwing away food. I crossed over to the sleeper compartment and luckily found a very old begger who i felt was the most suitable candidate. I offered him the plate and expected his face to glow up with gratitude.... BUT!!! He gave me quite a dismayed look and gently declined to oblige me !! I could feel every ones eyes burning hole through me i left in a hurry!!!

Dilli ki sardi- not my cup of tea!!!

i really want to scream out my thoughts and cry my heart out!!! but social constraints do not permit me for the same..... landing in delhi was realy smooth considering it was a go air!! but wat followed wasnt nice rather shocking!! i desperately need some to talk to and cry out my tears, der is soooooooooooooo much welled up inside that its becoming painful each day to carry the weight around with sweet smile!! i felt my legs become rubber when dad broke down in tears like a kid and i was forced to hold back mine because at this moment i have to be as strong i can. then the news of theft at home in allahabad and the insecurity which has crept in the minds of papa and ma!! then di is expecting and we are unable to pamper her with the love and care which she deserves and needs at this hour!! i so feel guilty for all and the worst is that no one will ever blame me or anyone for anything but it kills to dream of ur father weeping every night and wake up with a smile as if nothing happened!!!

The Taste of Success & Power of Confidence

The Title does sound like another book on the shelf of Crossword gathering dust. I would say that such proudy sounding title is sumthing which i always refrain to use always, it just doesnt suite my persona!! All those who have been near to me know me as a shy, soft spoken and probably timid kind of person. I was never short of self esteem but yes i always fell short of self appreciation and confidence. But in the past few months with my new work environ ment and profile, I know I have been able to over come most of my deep rooted fears and complexes!! Its great working in my present organization, I mean here I can sweat it outevery day for hours together and return home to sleep peacefully with a satisfaction of adding my bit of value to the business. I craved for something similar previosuly too but in-vain. The reason I enjoyed my work at my first job at the call center was that at the end of every day i could see a tangible bit of work which i had done and small achievements during the 9 hours . This quantifiable way of work evaluation worked wonders for my morale boosting.

Ok, thats enuf of bragging about senti-senti stuff, lets write something more interesting and tangible to read about.

Yesterday i was in another townfor some work assigned to me. The concerned officers were not available and in normal circumstances, I would have checked in to the hotel and gone to sleep gladly. But I took an initiative and pursued my own porfolio of interests which actually took me all over the place in the organization and i met atleast a dozen of people and did a great ground work. All this did leave me very exhausted but it was a satisfactory one and i was smiling on way to hotel!!I did not know a single person in this office and when I left I knew more than a dozen of related people for my work!! This was the power of confidence I was able to display and just before I stepped in this city I got to know that we have also got a small by opening oreder for the portfolio I am taking care of. Last 48 hours were absolutely hectic and very satisfactory. I have thoroughly enjoyed this experience and want to work harder to see more of it!!